Unemployed husband tells his hardworking wife that she's the reason they can't go on vacation: 'Now is not the time.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 26, 2026 12:00 PM EST

He's literally the reason they can't go on vacation!

You might think that unemployment would give you the freedom you wish you had when you're working full-time, but it does not. You might have a couple of weeks or months where you feel like you're as free as a bird, but then reality sets in, and you realize that you cannot afford the lifestyle you once enjoyed. You feel guilty about every moment of enjoyment, because why would you go to a picnic with your friends when you can be applying for jobs? Every job rejection makes you feel less like a human being and more like a piece of machinery that doesn't work right. You might feel overcome with guilt that you have to rely on your parents, partner, or government to pay for you to eat and live in a building. 

Maybe I'm completely off! Maybe you feel like you can do whatever you want when you have a job because your partner is paying for everything! If that's you, you might want to sort out your priorities. You shouldn't feel happy that the love of your life is working their tail off while you sit at home doing nothing. You should try to do everything you can to make extra income when you don't have a job to take some of the burden off of the love of your life. If anything, you shouldn't blame the person who is working for the fact that you can't afford to go on vacation. 

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  • Attractive brunette man laying in bed with laptop while talking and raising hand emotionally using mobile phone
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The husband in this story is not working and thinks his wife and he should start working for DoorDash on the side to make a little extra income so they can go on vacation. But his wife is exhausted from supporting the household and doesn't want to take another job.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my husband I don’t want to go on vacation?

    My husband (35 M) has some issues that limit how much he can physically do for work.
    via u/[deleted]
  • He is currently on leave from his work until May 1st (super long story and we're in the middle of a lawsuit) and he's getting about $900/month in benefits.
    via u/[deleted]
  • I (32 F) have a stressful (but not physical) full time job, go to the gym regularly, take care of the house/groceries/etc (my choice) during the week.
    via u/[deleted]
  • Young woman buying greens at local market
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I have had several traumatic experiences over the past year or so and I've been exceptionally tired most days, but I still do these things.
    via u/[deleted]
  • Tonight he mentioned that he wants us to start working on the weekends together (DoorDash, Instacart, etc) to make some extra money to go on vacation in a couple of months.
    via u/[deleted]
  • Couple sitting on beach chairs on the beach
    via Ezequiel Garrido

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told him that I was too exhausted from everything to feel up to that right now, but that he was welcome to do that during the week while I was at work.
    via u/[deleted]
  • I told him that I didn't want to give up my weekends (until this year I was working 7 days a week) and would rather spend time with him (not working) while we can.
    via u/[deleted]
  • He said that he didn't want to do it alone. He said I'm the reason we can never go on vacation.
    via u/[deleted]
  • Was I an a hle for telling him that now is not the time (for financial reasons and because I'm not up for it)?
    via u/[deleted]
  • HatsAndTopcoats > He said I'm the reason we can never go on vacation. He is 100% TA. You are NTA. Why would the expectation be that you, the person who's paying the bills and taking care of the home, should immediately jump to sacrifice more of your time and energy simply because he wants you to? That is the reason here, right: He wants you to do this so you're supposed to do it?
    via u/HatsAndTopcoats
  • Amydgalis First, he should be listening to you and respecting the fact that you're taking on everything while he recovers. Second, could he lose his $900/month benefit if someone caught wind that he was out and about working at local stores? My guess is that he can't physically do it himself and you'd be stuck doing all the lifting and ferrying, etc. He probably needs you to do the weekend gigs. If he really wants to work while he's recovering, he could do an online job, instead.
    via u/Amydgalis
  • swaggyboi1991 NTA I don't like how you told him you're too exhausted to add any more onto your plate and he hears it as you saying you don't want to go on vacation
    via u/swaggyboi1991
  • Hot-Garden9206 "he wanted US to start working together on the weekends"... he would need to get out of my face
    via u/Hot-Garden9206
  • residentcaprice He's the reason why you can't go for a vacation. Seems weird why he can't door dash himself but can go for a vacation which requires traveling. He sounds terribly needy.
    via u/residentcaprice
  • Affectionate_Top9368 NTAH. "He said I'm the reason we can never go on vacation" What a j !
    via u/Affectionate_Top9368
  • Dangerous_Cow_7372 NTA you gave him a perfectly reasonable option of him working during your work hours but he "doesn't want to do it alone." Well sounds like him not wanting to go to work without his mommy, woops I mean, wife holding his hand is the reason you guys won't be able to go on vacation, not the fact that you're working full time and the primary caretaker of the home.
    via u/Dangerous_Cow_7372
  • Green_Net_9667 You're already carrying the financial, emotional, and mental load right now. Wanting rest and boundaries isn't selfish! A vacation funded by burning out the only person currently holding things together isn't a vacation, it's just deferred stress. You didn't say "never," you said not right now, and that's reasonable given your workload and finances
    via u/Green_Net_9667
  • Anthonyy777 It sounds like he wants to door dash together so he can drive and you be the runner? He's on leave from his job with a pending lawsuit and he has medical issues... I don't know how it all fits together but wouldn't doing a side job and/or going on vacation raise eyebrows?
    via u/Anthonyy777
  • drezdogge You do need a vacation from HIM NTA
    via u/drezdogge

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side hustle wife husband hardworking unemployment delivery vacation
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